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Self Love: A Journey

Updated: Feb 6, 2023

Self love and Self acceptance, two things that should go hand in hand but can be difficult to connect with when you're in the business of looking after others.

So in the spirit of celebrating love this February and showing ourselves the same level of self love that we encourage in others, each of the Self Love Lounge team has sat down and done some self reflection on our how's and why's when it comes to showing a little self love.


How did Self Love Lounge come to be ?

Self Love Lounge came to life back in 2020 with my gorgeous branding/graphic designer friend Claire around my island kitchen bench. We were walking up Mt Cootha during a lock down and I was telling her I had this feeling of a hermit crab when its shell is getting too tight. Something needed to change, we had outgrown our old identity. We did a full rebrand and launch SLL on 1st Dec 2020. Second best day of my life (first being our wedding day!)

Where / how did your self love journey start?

I believe self love is a choice, in every day, every moment we have a choice to choose love. I don't really know when it was exactly but when I was 18 I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis. It's basically a autoimmune disease where the body attacks the thyroid gland. Super annoying. Like why would your own body do that, right?

In that moment I knew my body was different and when your whole life they tell 'you your all the same' and now my thyroid gland doesn't work, I have to take a medication every day. I was hurt, upset, angry. Why? Any way I guess I had two choices, to be angry and hate my body for not working like everybody else's or to love, respect and give it what it needs to feel its best.

I choose that latter. It can be really challenging at times but I figure I only have one body in this life time and its going to be a much more enjoyable ride if I love and take care of it. Treat her like I would my bestie.

How have you incorporated that into your workspace / business?

Everyone has things going on, on the inside whether they share or not, so I always be kind. Love. Listen with an open heart. I often encourage deep chats and to get things off your chest, I'm an open book. I'll speak honestly and truthfully about experiences and opinions while allowing space for you to do the same.

I used to think being a Beauty Therapist meant you needed this polished professional wearing red lipstick, but really what makes us so special is our down to earth personalities, listening skills and maybe ability to hug you at the perfect moment. Being human with a warm heart. Having a deep genuine love for your people, team & clients. I can say hand on heart I love my girls and the Self Love Community we've created.

What are your self love obstacles and how do you overcome them?

I think our biggest challenges can be our greatest teachings, if you take time to process and listen to your intuition. Your path may actually be perfect for you, all in the divine timing. Trusting is hard, but gets easier the more you practice, like anything. I'm working on being still more this year, taking more time for my own selfcare, getting in to nature, the ocean, allowing magic in these moments. Allowing space for my mind to wander, be creative and dream.

What are your favourite self love rituals and how do you incorporate them into your daily life?

1. Moving my body is #1. Honestly if I havent taken time first up to move, I joke that I'm not worth talking to... It's incredible how you can go from feeling blah to really energized after a sweat session. My favourite gym classes are spin/RPM but I know I also have to be gentle with my body so balance them with some hot yoga and walking the doggo's every morning.

2. Taking care of my skin and getting my makeup off at night time is one of my favourite things. Then I jump in the infrared sauna and take 30 mins to myself, alone to read. I'm obsessed with learning all I can about business, mindset, spiritual practices, all the juicy self help/personal development books. Haha we're going to need another book shelf in clinic with all our beauty books (your welcome to borrow them!)

3. Filling my mind with positive things. From podcasts, mediations, visualizations, ted talks and chats with my family or friends in NZ. Filling up my cup with connection. I always play 'I Am' Affimations in the shower each morning. Youtube has great ones that are about 7 mins long. I imagine the words as the water washes over me. Just little moments throughout the day I can acknowledge all the good. Ever cried in the shower (or anywhere for that matter) when a moment of gratitude comes over you? Its beautiful.

How do you encourage others to practice self love?

By being myself and encouraging others to do the same. To be different, to be happy and grateful. Be curious, take risks and love as much as you can.


Where / how did your self love journey start?

I doubt that I'm alone in this, but I have spent a large percentage of my adolescence and adulthood at war with my body, mind and self. Always finding something to pick apart or hate for one reason or another.

When I had my son, Malachi, it was like a switch was immediately flicked.

I looked at my baby and my body and thought "wow, my body literally created life", I felt like superwoman and from that point onwards I've tried my best to treat and speak to myself kindly.

Don't get me wrong, I'm human, I have my bad days where the anxiety is a little too high and the negative voices too loud, but I do my best to do something for and usually by myself to try and switch my thinking.

Because at the end of the day I have a little person literally and figuratively looking up to me, so I have to do what I can to set the best possible example. He holds me accountable without even knowing.

How have you incorporated that into your workspace?

I try to hold space for my clients to express themselves and I genuinely care about what they have to say / how they feel.

I do my best to relate, understand and offer guidance where needed and often find that talking it out unscrambles my own brain and validates my feelings too, it's almost as if Self Love is a two way street.

(I can only hope that clients feel the same way and if I've helped someone, then I've done a good job).

Team wise, I try my best to uplift both Elle and Morgan where needed, be an open book, communicate honestly and meet them where they're at. We really are more like a family than a workplace and I am extremely grateful for that.

What are your self love obstacles and how do you overcome them?

As I've mentioned previously I have struggled (and often still do) with anxiety and body dysmorphia with a large percentage of my life both of which wreak havoc with how I see, think and feel about myself.

They're by-products of the curveballs that life has thrown at me along the way, but I try to honor them in a way and recognize that while they may be dark, they force me to look at the parts of my life, myself, my body that are full of light. Those are the parts I try my best to focus on and celebrate when I'm feeling positive and in control, when I'm not and it's all a bit too loud, I try to be gentle on myself and do things that bring me joy no matter how small.

What are your favourite self love rituals and how do you incorporate them into your daily life?

1. Finding joy in the small which is usually Malachi related, because that kid just loves life!

2. Spending time with family and friends

3. Listening to my comfort playlist that hasn't changed in 15+ years (now I feel old)

4. Spending time in nature

5. Something creative, usually drawing or embroidering which I've recently gotten into

6. A float at City Cave, soak in the bath or swim in the pool (I find water really restorative)

7. Take myself out on a date

8. Read a book or watch a show I really enjoy

I try to take a minute each day to do at least one of these and make it super intentional.

I also have "I AM", a daily affirmations app which helps.

How do you encourage others to practice self love?

I'm the world's biggest hypocrite, I make it my mission to make everyone I cross paths with seen , heard and appreciated but I'm not so good at doing the same for myself (might be a me thing, or a mum thing).

I show up as my authentic self always and encourage everyone to do the same.

I hold space, give my time and listen because sometimes saying something out loud, makes it real, you sort through it and you feel a whole lot better for it.

I do my best to give everyone space and time, but if they need someone then I'm right there in the trenches with them.

I have the tendency to treat everyone as a friend something in which I think I've unintentionally passed on to my son, which is so beautiful to see.


Where / how did your self love journey start?

Honestly, self love is something I have always struggled with and continue to work on everyday. When I was 5 years old, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and despite being a very active and fun loving kid, my body couldn't keep up with the other kids. I would need to rest and stabilize my sugar levels before I could continue playing with everyone else. This is something I had to learn to adapt to, needing to slow down, take my time and learn to navigate what felt right for me, opposed to what I thought was expected of me.

After becoming a mother in 2010, 2011 & 2015 I faced new challenges in learning to adapt to my body and its ever-changing state. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and as a mother, I found that it was always such an easier task to care for those I loved, than it was to care for myself. So, I needed to make a change, and as I came more and more into my spiritual abilities, this was something I could no longer push a side. I had to learn to sustain my energy, learn to love myself and take steps to nurture and support myself in order to be the best version of myself I could be.

How have you incorporated that into your workspace / business?

I have felt the highest of highs and the lowest of lows through different stages of life and have learnt through my experience that each stage is important and valid. This is why I aim to meet people where they are currently at. If you're at a stage in your life where you can confidently love and nurture yourself, then I'm your hype girl, ready to cheer you on! If you're at a stage in your life where self love is hard, then that's ok, I'm here to support you and we'll work through it together.

When I had the opportunity to add my business and provide soul treatments with SLL, it was important to me that everyone that walked through our door felt this level of comfortability, acceptance and support on their self love journey, no matter what stage they are currently in. Adding Past Life Regression & Channeling to the SLL services has allowed us to further provide that support and care for our clients on more than just a physical level and it's something we often support in each other as well, which is why I love my fellow SLL team members so much, we love and support each other no matter what stage of life we're in.

What are your self love obstacles and how do you overcome them?

I think one of the biggest obstacles I have faced in recent years is guilt. Feeling guilty for taking time out for myself or feeling as though I am being selfish for putting my needs first. But what I have learnt is that you cannot pour from an empty cup, and taking care of myself helps me to better care for others. It often makes me think of being on an airplane, we all remember the safety briefings, right? "Put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping those around you." and this reminds me that self love, self care is not selfish, it is necessary in order for me to help others.

What are your favourite self love rituals and how do you incorporate them into your daily life?

My self love rituals vary from day to day, depending on what I am feeling or the situation so here is a quick list of my go-to care tactics.

1. Morning meditations - starting the day off with good intentions.

2. Connecting with my spirit guides through different forms of channeling - allowing some time to just feel into their sense of unconditional love & support.

3. Connecting with family & friends - I often like to embrace & nurture my inner child by going and doing a fun activity like bowling, going to an arcade or on an adventure in nature.

4. Music! Never underestimate the power of a good sing and dance sesh!

5. Some pampering - getting a facial, taking some extra time in my daily skincare routine to show my body some extra love.

6. Gratitude showers - this is a big one for me and has changed the way that I view myself! - I love going out and buying a new organic body wash and as I'm having a shower, I wash each part of my body telling it what I love about it and thanking it for what it does for me. e.g., I love my legs for carrying me through life, they've given me such joy in experiencing running along the beach with sand in between my toes, thank you legs.

7. Chilling out & refocusing - just taking some time to disconnect from society and the daily pressures. Sometimes I like to curl up on the couch with a good book, or eat snacks and watch a movie. Sometimes I like to go for a walk outside or to play a game on nintendo, whatever feels satisfying to my human self in that moment.

8. Journaling - getting all my thoughts and feelings out of my mind and onto paper. This also helps me refocus and navigate my way in times where I am feeling overwhelmed.

How do you encourage others to practice self love?

I like to encourage others to practice self love in ways that feel right for them. We are all unique individuals who like to receive and give love in different ways. I like to encourage others to try new things, see what feels right for them, what they enjoy and what makes them feel safe, loved and supported in that moment. Because it may not always be the same, and that's ok. As long as we can support each other to keep putting ourselves at the top of our priority list in new and exciting ways, there is always an opportunity to love and be loved.

So there it is, a sprinkling of Self Love straight from the SLL team.

We hope you've found something that resonates and encourages you to show yourself some self love, because YOU are the only person you've got, so best look after yourself.

Remember, we're only human, having a human experience, so be kind to yourself.

So much love,

Morgan, Lauren and Elle xxx

If you need a place to rest your soul this week. Make an appointment for a skin, beauty or soul treatment with us at Self Love Lounge.

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